31 Days
by loli-teachan
Summary: "But when he lost Rin, he felt like he lost the feel of the water as well. It was as if two parts of himself died that day. He couldn't feel the warmth that water used to surround him with." Haruka/Rin. Sharkbait. WIP.
1. Chapter 1

_Sunday. 31 nights left._

Bright blue eyes stared up at the ceiling as a frown decorated Haruka's face. It was too cold. Twisting and turning restlessly in bed, Haru settled on his side, dully noting the large boxes adorning his new apartment—yet to be opened. Truthfully, he did not know what to make of his current situation. Moving to Tokyo just seemed like a good idea at the time, and Haruka was someone to follow his instincts.

There were more job opportunities and prestigious schools in Tokyo, rather than in the subarbs. And restaurants and public pools were far more easier to access. But Haru knew that deep down, that wasn't really what brought him to the city.

What really attracted his attention was a flyer that dropped by his house a few weeks before. It wasn't the neat color scheme or the pen that came with it. In fact, his first instinct was to just throw the paper away. He made the effort to skim the page, however, when he noticed the large imprinted letters of _Support the Iwatobi Swim Club!_ on the flyer, particularly the swimming part. Right below it, there were two very familiar names: Makoto Tachibana and Nagisa Hazuki. There was also two others, Rei Ryugasaki and Gou Matsuoka, but they didn't quite ring the bell as much as Makoto and Nagisa did.

Haruka didn't waste much time before looking into a new apartment and packing up. He hadn't heard those names in over 5 years. At the moment, there wasn't a single doubt in his mind. He wanted to see them again. But most of all, he wanted to make sure a certain someone was okay.

Currently, however, he was beginning to regret that decision. What could he possibly say to his childhood friends? How would he be able to explain his reason for leaving so suddenly back then without even a goodbye? Would they even recognize him anymore?

Unwelcome questions invaded his head as the blue haired teenager snapped his eyelids shut, willing himself to drown in the sleep that eventually consumed him. After all, it was easier for him to just hide from the doubt for as long as possible before reality kicks in.

_"Rin!" Haruka stared, wide-eyed as Rin kneeled on the side of the pool, uncharacteristically shedding tears. It was supposed to be a friendly competition between Haru and Rin, but it wasn't even a competition anymore._

_"You didn't even take me seriously, Haru. How can I ever think of myself as an Olympic swimmer if you beat me this easily." With those words, the two swimmers glanced at each other. The blue haired one clutched his jacket tighter, helplessly watching the other pick up his pride and making his way out the building—and possibly taking his friendship with him._

_It was that day that Haruka truly knew the feeling of sadness. Tears rolled down his cheeks as the normally vibrant eyes lost their shine. Even the water couldn't reflect on them._

_He didn't know how long he was there, carefully memorizing how cursed his talent really was and burning into his mind the look on his friend's eyes. He did the only thing he thought he could do._

_He ran away._

_The next day, he turned in his resignation form in to his swimming coach and school principal before moving out into the suburbs. His family died long ago, so he knew that his friends could never find him, even though some part of him, sometimes, still wished that they would look. That moment, Haruka turned his back on his past._

_His new life wasn't any better. In fact, it was probably worse if the swimmer hadn't dubbed Rin's agonizing, accusing eyes as the worst. At his new school, he knew nobody. The feeling of being an outcast strangled him as days went on where everyone talked behind his back, wondering why his name was so girly or why a city boy would ever come to the country without a family. His face was always emotionless, but inside, Haruka knew that while the words hurt, it hurt more that every curious or accusing look at him reminded him of Rin. The purple haired boy haunted Haruka's dreams, following him like chains throughout the day._

_Haruka already knew. He loved Rin. Perhaps much more than a friend should._

_And he also knew that the other would never love him back._

_"Oh look, it's the fag. What's wrong? Did Ha-ru-chan forget to wear nail polish?" Nameless students walked up to Haruka, smirking all the way. Fists clenched at the nickname, but unclenched as his tormenters drew closer. Haruka already knew that there will be more bruises on his body by the end of this. He stopped fighting back. He figured that if he just let them hit him, then it would go quicker. He deserved it anyway for what he did to Rin._

_At the same time, however, it was at times like this, that Haruka wished that he was someone different. Someone who wasn't so lowlife that people wanted to step all over him. Someone who would have a chance with Rin. Someone who wouldn't make the other cry. Someone who would give Rin the love he deserved. But that would never happen...because fate would never allow it. He will never be free._

Haruka snapped his eyes open, automatically wiping his neck free of cold sweat. What was that dream? It started out like his nightmares always did. That day never left his mind. To make someone you love cry like that, it would haunt a person until the end of the world. However, it continued much further this night than it ever did before. Was it the familiar Tokyo air? Haruka rubbed his temples, hoping to quell the incoming headache.

Sluggishly, he took a quick glance at his alarm clock beside his bed before gingerly making his way towards the bathroom. It was only a few feet away, but times like these make him wish that there were moving beds...or something like that.

A heavy sigh squeezed its way into his lips as the tantalizing, yet antagonizing scent of fresh water surrounded him, a painful reminder of what he left behind. Haruka took one glance at his disheveled appearance in the mirror before splashing his face with water. He'll be late if he doesn't try harder to get up. He smiled. Makoto normally helped him get ready years before, stopping by his house, making sure he's punctual for class, and taking care of him in general.

An accustomed clench reached his heart. Makoto would be smiling at him exasperatedly if he saw Haruka's state at the moment. His hair was in tangles. His clothes were hanging off his shoulders. His face was flushed.

Haruka shook his head. It was no use to remember Makoto from years ago. He probably didn't even remember Haruka anymore.

Quickly getting ready, Haruka struggled through the unopened boxes to find his uniform and book bag. By the time he was done, his apartment looked as if a tornado tore its way past. A blasé look continued to decorate his face before another sigh ripped its way from his throat. Carefully slinging his book bag across his shoulder, the raven walked away from the mess and out his apartment, shutting the door behind him.

Just like how Rin walked out of his life. A dull smirk adorned his face. How ironic.

_Monday. 30 nights left._

The streets looked different from the last time Haruka walked on them, but at the same time, it gave off a nostalgic feel that he couldn't shake off. His legs dragged him down these streets that were constantly lingering in his memories.

It was getting harder to breathe, but it was as if his body had a mind of its own—that wasn't his. Before he knew it, he was in front of a house. It looked the same for so many years. The wood was old and worn by now, but it was still distinct with the smell of cinnamon. He stared at the letters beside the door, still there even after years of constant rain and rust. _Tachibana_.

Some part of Haruka wished that it said _Matsuoka_ instead, but he knew that he didn't have enough courage to face the hate and resentment in those violet eyes again. For the second time that day, his heart clenched in anguish.

He didn't know what possessed him to knock like he did on the door. It was a desperate move that Haruka regretted when the door opened to reveal Makoto's surprised face. He stood dead silent and still. He was paralyzed as he watched the emerald eyes glossed with tears and the way the normally gentle features clenched up.

As Makoto moved his hand, Haruka immediately braced his body. He inwardly laughed at himself. After years in hell school, they finally broke him into submission. He couldn't even stop himself. It was just a reaction by now. Instead, he felt warm arms wrap around him. It was a feeling that he hadn't experienced in years. Uncontrollable sobs took over his body as he felt the arms tighten around him.

Countless apologies were whispered as Makoto shushed him, comforting him like he always did before. Haruka berated himself for every apology he made, for being so weak, but eventually, he started to quiet down. When his sobs turned to hiccups, he felt the warmth leave him, along with the arms that comforted him. Subconsciously, the raven felt compelled to lean towards the other before he felt two strong hands gripping him, steadily pushing him back on his feet. Haruka winced as one of the hands came in contact with a bruise from what of his last...sessions with nameless students. Out of instinct, he turned away, ashamed of the state he was in.

"Haru-chan...What happened to you..."

It wasn't a question. Haruka just stood still as Makoto pushed his sleeves up, revealing countless bruises and scars—some of which he inflicted on himself. He knew it was wrong, but when he lost Rin, he felt like he lost the feel of the water as well. It was as if two parts of himself died that day. Even now, the water felt bitterly cold to him. He couldn't feel the warmth that used to surround him.

He couldn't truly swim anymore. He was broken.

His eyes were fixed on the floor. He was never a person for words, but he knew that Makoto understood. He always did.

He felt lips press against his forehead before a hand clasped against his own.

"I understand." Haruka could feel the soft smile the other was wearing after saying that. There was a silence between the two afterwards. It wasn't an awkward silence...it was just there. "Let's go to school now, okay Haru-chan?" A nod was all that was mustered.

That was the first time in four years that the two walked together again. Haruka probably wouldn't admit it out loud, but he missed this. He didn't understand how the other could just smile and act like his _Haru-chan_ never left without a word. Was there a human in the world who was really that good inside and out? Haruka used to believe that Rin was the light of his life—the person who smiled through the good and bad, who would always cheer him up, but even he held boiling jealousy inside of him.

Dwelling over his thoughts the entire way, Haruka didn't even notice he was at the school until he saw that Makoto stopped walking through the corner of his eye. Taking a moment to spare the other a glance, blue eyes dully noted the school in front of him. It was as ordinary as can be. But he felt a wave of nostalgia. _Iwatobi_. That was the school he always decided to go to as a child, together with his friends, before the incident with Rin.

As if knowing exactly what he was thinking, Makoto whispered, "Just like old times, huh, Haru-chan. All of us always wanted to reunite in high school together."

"All of us? Or was it just you and me?" Haruka couldn't help but add that at the end. He could feel the disapproving gaze pointed at him at that moment, but he didn't particularly care. He heard a sigh above him.

"After all these years, Nagisa still asks me where you went. I can't say about Rin, but I'm sure he misses you deep inside." Makoto laughed lightly. Haruka disregarded the notion about Rin for a moment. Rin didn't miss him at all. Without him around, he would be the star. The prodigy. The title that Haruka refused to carry any longer. It was all his. Instead, Haruka opted to ask about the other one.

"Nagisa?"

"He transferred here last year, Haru-chan." Haruka furrowed his eyebrows together absentmindedly. That's right. Nagisa was on the swim club as well. By the time Haruka had left, Nagisa wasn't even in the same middle school.

"I see."

Makoto just smiled.

"I have to leave for class now, Haru-chan. The Principal's office is down this hallway to the left, by the way." Haruka watched as Makoto amiably patted him on the shoulder before jogging towards the entrance. He didn't want the other to leave just yet, but it would be selfish to keep Makoto any longer.

"Makoto!" He saw the other turn around, surprise evident in the normally composed eyes.

"I told you not to call me Haru-chan."

With that, Haruka turned and made his way to the Principal's office. He didn't need to wait for Makoto to laugh to feel his old self creeping in. For the first time in years, Haruka felt as if he was himself again. Tilting his head down, he hid a small smile. This year would be full of firsts. He couldn't help but wonder if the water would be warm again. For the first time in years as well.

* * *

Author's Note: So I hope you guys enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Q U Q It's my first story, so review if you like it. It'd really encourage me to keep going. I'm not much of a writer, so there's going to be mistakes. Also, English is not my first language, so sometimes, I'm confused with spelling or grammar. If so, just point it out~


	2. Chapter 2

_Knock knock._ Short silence. _Knock knock_. The pattern repeats itself multiple times before it culminated with a heavy sigh.

A blank stare was directed at the door that separated them from the principal's office. From a reasonable distance, Haruka would still look as emotionless as he did half an hour ago when he first arrived. With closer look, however, a hint of irritation could easily be spotted. His posture was slightly slumped over, indicating that he no longer felt the obligation to make a good first impression. His right eye would also occasionally twitch, a sure sign of annoyance. Haruka groaned silently as he turned to look at the clock near the end of the hallway. The bell rang ages ago, and he was still in front of the office, waiting as patiently as he possibly could. Shifting his feet from side to side, Haruka waited a few more minutes before tiredly propping himself against the wall.

"Shouldn't you be in class, young man?" The person behind Haruka cleared his voice in mock impatience. The feather-like breath near his neck sent Haruka shivers, in addition to the shock he felt at being caught so off guard.

There was a moment of silence as Haruka recollected himself. He could feel the amused gaze that was directed at him as he schooled his features, even though to anyone else, he'd still look blank either way. Closing his eyes, Haruka turned around to meet vibrant violet eyes. For just a second, Haruka forgot to breathe.

_Four small bodies lugged themselves up a small hill, each smiling from the exhilarating win that they had together at a swimming relay. One of them, the purple-haired one, carried a trophy that was half the size of his body, proudly holding it up as to show off their achievement. The entire walk was a part of Rin's idea to keep a time capsule. __The trip was filled with him explaining the importance of a time capsule, where as the trophy would be buried and then dug up again years later to signify the four's continuing friendship. It was obvious that Makoto and Nagisa felt just as enthusiastic, if not more, about the idea._

_On the other hand, Haruka wasn't really listening. He was more captivated by how the red tint in the other's hair seemed to glow and how enthusiasm seemed to make Rin brighter every second that passed. Rin must have noticed the penetrating stare aimed at him because he stopped abruptly to face Haruka, giving the most genuine smile Haruka had ever seen. Startled, the blue haired swimmer couldn't muster enough confidence to maintain eye contact, choosing i__nstead to avert his eyes to the ground. __It was as if the other was staring inside Haruka, and he wasn't used to that at all. To Haruka, the sparkle in those eyes reminded him of the water. He would never forget them._

"Hey, are you okay?"_ Haruka continued to stare at the dirt beneath him. Of course he wasn't okay. He could feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears burn. Out of habit, he quickly covered his face with his arm._

"I need you to look at me. Breathe, okay?" _Haruka shook his head. He couldn't look up, especially not when he was like this. A few seconds later, he could feel his shoulders being shaken. At first it was gentle, but soon it progressively turned into a rougher, desperate shake. He could hear the words being said to him, but he couldn't decipher them any longer. It was as if the words were of an unknown language. At the same time, his lungs burned from lack of oxygen. Haruka clawed at his throat, willing himself to intake air, but it was as if there was no oxygen around him. He couldn't breathe._

"Listen, kid. You need to calm down. Breathe in, and breath out. Breathe in. Hold it. Breathe out." _Arms dragged Haruka into a crouched position, supporting him steadily while repeating the stream of words multiple times. As the pattern continued, Haruka felt himself calm down before rhythmically breathing in sync with the voice beside him._ Blue eyes snapped open. He could feel accumulating sweat cling onto his skin. He could hear small panting and gasping around him. _Wait, am I the one making those noises?_ Haruka could feel his lungs burning as he forced his breathing to slow down.

"I'm fine." It was probably a lot more hostile than Haruka first intended, but at the moment, he was beyond caring. He stood up before dusting himself off, shaking his head vigorously. He's been running away from the source of his problem for much too long. He hated the control Rin had on him without the other even knowing. It was rather unfair.

"Are you sure, kid? Do you need to go to the nurse?" Shuffling noises were made behind him as the other stood up. Haruka planted his feet, avoided the temptation to look back and see the purple eyes that reminded him so much of his past.

"No. I just needed to turn in paperwork for my transfer here."

"Oh? So you're the new student. Interesting." The tone of the man's voice was deep and husky. _It wasn't Rin's voice_. "You could have just turned them in to Student Services instead of waiting for me to come. I had a meeting, so I apologize. I don't leave my office often, but I take it that you're not the type of student to have the best luck either, huh." Haruka drowned out the rest of the conversation. So this was the principal. He was much younger and far more chattier than Haruka expected, leading him to believe, at first, that the principal was just another student walking by. He heard various questions directed at him. He didn't respond with anything much more than a nod, however, choosing instead to hand over the papers he had been holding for the previous hour or so. The papers were somewhat crumpled from being dug up in the morning, but the other merely took it into stride. The one-sided, idle talking continued, and a few moments later, Haruka was all ready to go, walking down the hallway towards his second period class.

"Nanase-kun!" The baritone voice once again called his name from behind. Haruka stopped moving, pausing to show he was listening, but not bothering to turn around. "If you need any help, feel free to come to me, okay? Let's call it Iwatobi's hospitality." Haruka nodded slowly, but he knew that he would rarely come back. It would be highly inappropriate to say that he had a love interest with someone who has similar facial features as the principal. While he was sure the other would just laugh it off, he probably couldn't do the same thing.

Once he was alone in the hallways, Haruka began to think back on the flashbacks that were constantly invading his mind now that he was back to the city. Could they be a sign of something? He didn't believe in superficial ideas such as fate or destiny, but admittedly, the situation was somewhat plausible. It was almost irritating. Haruka had never felt so helpless over his own life. His hand automatically moved to his side, pinching the bruise that was already there harshly. The wince that broke through his lips was a small price to pay, compared to the helplessness he felt earlier. He knew that it was no time to recede to the back of his mind. He made his way up the stairs before staring at his schedule. _Algebra 2 - Room 212_. That should be right up the stairwell._  
_

He knocked on the door. Inside, he could hear the excited whispers of the students before the door opened to reveal a rather young woman with short chestnut hair. She looked curiously at him.

"Is there anything I could help you with, mister?" Haruka blankly stared back at him.

"I am the new transfer student. My name is Haruka Nanase." His voice was also devoid of all emotion. He could feel the teacher tense as her eyebrows furrowed. Realization hit her, and she gave him a bright smile. Her body automatically loosened into a casual posture before she ushered him into the classroom enthusiastically.

"Nanase-kun~ I was told earlier that you might arrive to my classroom. Welcome to Iwatobi! My name is Miho Amakata." She continued to smile at him before turning to the class with a stern expression. It was almost bipolar. "Class, please stop what you are doing and treat your new classmate with respect. Nanase-kun is a new student here, and I expect every one of you to be on their best behavior." She turned back to Haruka before giving him a sign to introduce himself. Haruka gave a nod in response. Mrs. Amakata was the open kind of person who he could read like a book. It made him feel more at ease, even though it was hypocritical of him to think so since he was rather unreadable himself.

"My name is Haruka Nanase. I love the water. Please take care of me." He wasn't lying when he said he loved the water. Even if it felt bitter to him now, he still felt close to it_– _if only to remember the times when the water _was _mesmerizing. He could feel the expectant eyes pointed back at him after his short introduction. He shrugged. He had nothing else to say, so he just stood there. The silence was broken by a familiar voice.

"Mrs. Amakata! Can Haru-chan sit next to me?" Indeed, there was an open seat next to Makoto. Haruka could spot the jade hair easily in the class. After all, it wasn't often in Japan that anybody had anything more than black or brown hair. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder.

"Nanase-kun may pick any seat he'd like that is open, okay~?" Haruka gave a brief grunt before moving leisurely to Makoto's side. He could hear the mindless chatter next to him throughout the lesson. It was something along the lines of catching up with each other's lives, which Haruka didn't feel like explaining to Makoto that he was bullied half the time the last few years. There was nothing honorable about that, and he knew it would be a charity case to the other. Their one-sided conversation dragged on until it felt as if a lifetime had passed by the time the bell rung. Haruka heard a disappointed sigh beside him. He knew that Makoto was just attempting to strike a conversation with him throughout the period. It made him guilty about ignoring the other, but he still had his pride.

"Haru-chan, how about we meet up at lunch today? I can share my lunch with you today. You forgot to make one this morning, right?" Haruka came face to face with Makoto's grin, before diverted his gaze away, florid. He forgot how sharp Makoto's eyes were. They never seemed to miss a detail. In response, a small sound of acknowledgement came out of his mouth before getting lost among the chatter around them, but Haruka knew that Makoto heard it loud and clear.

The rest of the day moved along much quicker than Haruka thought. When he was alone, he began to get lost in the darker side of his thoughts. Or more specifically, Rin. He wondered how the other was doing, if he thought of Haruka as much as Haruka thought of him, if the other would ever forgive him. Afterwards, he'd dabble on Makoto, the green-haired sweetheart ever since he was born. He would question countlessly as to why Makoto would always look after him or why the other could forgive and forget everything Haruka did wrong up until now. There was nothing about him that was special, and there was nothing he could ever do to return the kindness Makoto had always given him. _Oh look, it's the fag. Nobody would ever want you. Why don't you hit back or are you too chicken?_ The words that were drilled into his head for the last few years flew back to him, leaving a pit in his stomache as the bell rang. He knew that the moment he reached the cafeteria, Makoto would see through his empty mask and ask him about his reasons for being troubled. The other knew him much too well for it to go any differently. Of course, it went just as Haruka imagined.

"Har_–" _Makoto stopped mid-sentence. He stood up from his seat near the cafeteria doors, quickly making his way to Haruka. "What happened now?" Haruka shook his head. Makoto was always needlessly looking after him. It was almost overwhelming, but Haruka appreciated the kindness nonetheless.

"Nothi_–"_

"Haru-chan!" Haruka felt a blur of gold jump from the table, straight at him.

"Nagisa-kun! Don't scare him like that!" He could hear a high-pitched voice above him censuring Nagisa as he stood up from the floor. Haruka dusted himself off for the second time that day before scanning the four people surrounding him. His eyes moved over Makoto but stopped on a mop of golden locks. Haruka was surprised that Nagisa could still recognize him, but he guessed that his appearance, overall, did not change much. However, he didn't know the other two people. Subsequently, he was fairly impressed when one of the two started up a conversation with him.

"So you are the one that everyone was talking about today. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Ryugazaki Rei. Are you 'Haru-chan-san'?" Blue eyes twitched at the sound of that name.

"Do not add the -chan _and _-san to my name." Makoto coughed nervously at the exchange, mentally reprimanding Haruka for his blunt personality while giving an apologetic glance towards Rei. He nudged Haruka on the shoulder, encouraging the raven to continue talking in a hopefully more amiable tone. He smiled as he saw the other's flushed face turned to the side in embarrassment. He knew Haruka didn't mean to come off as hostile or rude. He was just so blunt that it seemed that way. At first, Makoto felt the same way that Rei probably did. He wondered how a cold and bitter person could be so beautiful and graceful in the water, but as more of their time was spent together, he started to recognize the emotions underneath the empty mask Haruka surrounded him with. He was actually very caring and thoughtful.

"My name is Haruka Nanase. Please take care of me." Haruka eyed Rei from the side, daring him to comment on the briefness of the introduction. No comment was made. Haruka nodded in approval, still slightly red-faced and abashed. There was a moment of awkward silence before a soft, boyish voice broke in. There was a sudden, strong feeling of deja vu. Awkward silences seem to be coming far more often with Haruka around.

"Ne ne~ Haru-chan, you disappeared for so long. I was so worried! I almost didn't recognize you~!" Haruka knew it was a lie just by looking at Nagisa. He would be the first to remember everyone, especially Haruka. It also didn't help that Nagisa's emotions constantly flaunts his face, even when he tries to hide it. The stabbing feeling of guilt bubbled in Haruka's stomache when the hurt was so obvious on the blonde. He almost didn't hear the next thing the other had to say.

"So did you come to Iwatobi to join the swimming club?" Nagisa pleaded him with large eyes.

Haruka froze.

"I-I don't know."

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**IMPORTANT OMG. READ MEEEEEEEEEE. PLEASE.**

So this is pretty short, and I just wanted to say thank you for all the faves and alerts and review It means a lot to me, honestly~ This is actually only like... 1/5 of what I planned for Chapter 2, ahahah... /shot. So basically, this is a sneak peek. Next time I upload, it will have Chapter 2 finished and Chapter 3 up. OTL. It's just that I'll be leaving for a while, so I wanted to just give what I have for now.


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